i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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