Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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