Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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