So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
