Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize