there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
