My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am one with the molecules
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
