Cold hands, warm shart.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
