I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
