There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
