We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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