Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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