i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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