i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
