You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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