It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
