dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
