Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
