I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
