i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
