Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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