apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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