if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My ass is underappreciated
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
