Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
