Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
