Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Too much gin, very little bucket
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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