Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize