Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All the doctor said was why
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
