We're like a lot better than the average bears
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize