There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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