I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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