FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
