He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The dick lei will go down in squad history
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
