she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
one two three fourrrrnication!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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