evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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