i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize