he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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