Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I can't watch pbs sober anymore

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(213): View more from California

whats up tonight?

(408): View more from California

Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind

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(203): View more from Connecticut

When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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(161): View more from

that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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(912): View more from Georgia

There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.

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(530): View more from California

for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable

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