Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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