We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
