i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
