Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
