Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
