My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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