high people should be assigned attendants
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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