I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
