Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
