I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
