I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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