Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
