And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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