Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
