please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize