i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize