Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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