If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
