i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
