Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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