people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
