And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
