I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
