I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
