We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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