she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
