Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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