i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
