I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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